A de facto relationship breakdown can be a time of emotional crisis, this presents you with an opportunity to grow and learn. There maybe a feeling emptiness in your life right now, but that doesn’t mean that the de facto relationship breakdown was your fault or that you will never find love again. Consider this period a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth and learning from the mistakes made in the past. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better being more equipped to set up appropriate asset protection strategies in your next relationship.
Accepting a de facto relationship breakdown and being in a position to move emotionally can be difficult things. Being honest with your own actions & behaviours will help you learn what works & what doesn’t in a relationship. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them. Some people think that just because the property settlement agreement or separation agreement is signed they are set to start again. This is a time for quiet personal reflection.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Look at the broader picture. Question how you contributed to the issue in your past relationship.
- Do you have a history of repeating the same mistakes or maybe selecting the wrong partners?
- Is stress a trigger for you? How do you deal with insecurities? Looking back can you identify a more constructive way to behave?
- Do you accept others as they are or do you try to influence how they could or “should” be?
- Looking closely at the negative feelings & issues is a starting point and may help you create change. Being in control of your feelings and emotions is important, are you in control of them or are thy in control of you?
Then reflect on these things:
- Were you clear with your partner from the beginning of the relationship about asset protection strategies you were implementing?
- Did you discuss a cohabitation agreement of binding financial agreement at any point during your relationship?
- If you negotiated a property settlement agreement or separation agreement at the end of your de facto relationship, did you feel it was fair?
- Next time around, what would you change about the financial structure of your relationship?
Being honest with yourself is key to creating change. Being hard on yourself for past mistakes wont get you anywhere. As you look back on the de facto relationship breakdown, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. The positive in this situation is that you can actively decide what your personal limits are in your next relationship in terms of intermingling finances & sharing assets. Be objective & look at your choices and behavior, why did you choose your ex? Why did you make decisions around money that you did? You will soon be able to look back on your past relationship and identify where you went wrong. Hopefully this reflection will lead you to make better choices going forward.
If you are experiencing difficulties moving on from a de facto relationship break down you should engage a qualified councilor or mental health professional and ensure you get the support you need during this time.
What matters most is that you draw strength from your experiences and make decisions about how you will conduct yourself financially in your next relationship. If you feel financially exploited by the end of your last relationship and never want to have to sign off on another property settlement agreement or separation agreement then learn from your past experiences now so you can ensure you never repeat the same mistakes.
Remember, the information contained on the site does not constitute legal advice. If you think you need legal advice you should contact an Accredited Family Law Specialist.
We have a suite of resources on the site that can help you build your knowledge about a de facto relationship breakdown & how to better utilize asset protection strategies in your next relationship. Scroll through the resources below or click through to the resources tab and filter based on your areas of interest. If you want to access our resources you can join the site as a member or simply purchase the individual resources you require.